Campfire Tails: The InuYasha Chronicles
by ShokoraYasha
Summary: These are the things you've always wondered about the Inu-Yasha gang. Chapter 2: Sesshomaru's Mother-REVEALED[POSTED] Next Chapter: What is up with Kouga and his leg-warmers?
1. Y'argh, me hardy! Kaede loses her eye

A/N: All right! I've been meaning to write this for quite a while! It's just a slight break from my other story, "Goaku: The Five Deadly Sins of Buddhism", which I STRONGLY suggest you read! -=shameless plug=- ^_^; Anyhow, here's the insanity!  
  
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Inu-tachi all sat around the fire, taking in the beautiful scenery and the wonderful atmosphere. Kaede stoked the fire, and sighed.  
  
Shippou soon got restless and bored. He walked over to Kaede and tapped her shoulder. "Kaede-baasan, how did you lose your eye?"  
  
Kagome immediately looked embarrassed and ran up to Shippou. "Shippou-chan! That's not very polite! I'm sorry, Kaede!"  
  
The elderly priestess shook her head, laughing. "Nay, child, 'tis all right. I knew this day would come, and I shall tell ye the story of how I lost me eye. Sit 'round yon fire, and hear me tale..."  
  
[------Flashback------]  
  
  
Kikyou hurriedly exited Onigumo's cave, leaving her pest of a little sister in her dust.   
  
Kaede was out of breath, and ran as fast as her legs could carry her, yelling, "Onee-sama, onee-sama!!!!!"  
  
Kikyou sighed in aggravation as she stopped in the middle of an open field, fiddling with her arrows and waiting for her little sister to catch up.  
  
When she finally caught up, Kaede's breath was ragged. She quickly regained her composure and said, "Onee-sama, why did ye leave me behind in yon cave of Onigumo, me hardy?"  
  
Kikyou clenched her teeth. "Why don't you just talk like a normal person?! Your pirate-talk is grating on my nerves and, above all, embarrassing me!!! So stop it, or else!"  
  
Kaede scratched her little 5-year-old head in confusion. "Y'argh? Why doest it bother ye so, onee-sama?"  
  
Kikyou let out a deranged laugh. "Hee hee hee hee hee! Hoo hoo! BWAHAHAHAHA! You wanna be a pirate so much, I'll make you a pirate! HA HA HA!" And with that, she grabbed and arrow and advanced on her little sister.  
  
"NO, NOT ME EYE, ONEE-SAMA! ....Y'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!"  
  
[------End of Flashback------]  
  
"...." The whole group stared at Kaede in utter disgust and confusion.   
  
Inu-Yasha was the first to speak. "Oh my kami...She actually GOUGED your eye out with an ARROW because you talked like a pirate? I knew Kikyou was a crazy bitch...."  
  
Kagome avidly agreed, nodding furiously. "Yeah. Granted it's a tad annoying, but JUST because you talked like a pirate...man..."  
  
Kaede smiled. "Y'argh...y'argh."   
  
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A/N: All right, that's it for this little side story. There will be more, but, in the meantime, R&R, please? ^_^;;;  
  
Ja, minna-san!  
Ko-ko 


	2. Sesshoumaru's Mother REVEALED!

A/N: Okay...Here's the next chappy of this nonsense story. Hope you likey!  
  
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Sesshoumaru, Rin, and Jaken were once more on their journey for God only knows what. After hours of aimless meandering, Sesshoumaru decided it was finally time to stop and rest. They sat under a tree in complete silence until the question tugging at the back of Rin's mind could stay quiet for no longer.  
  
  
Rin tugged on Sesshoumaru's long, fabulous sleeve. "Fluffy?"  
  
  
Sesshoumaru looked to the little girl. "Yes, Rin?"  
  
  
Rin bit her lip and looked around in uncertainty. "Um...Can Rin ask Fluffy a question?"  
  
  
The silvery-haired youkai nodded. "Why of course, Rin."  
  
  
The little girl smiled her gap-toothed smile and finally let it out. "Well, Rin wanted to know about Fluffy's mommy."  
  
  
Jaken's ugly, bulbous yellow toad eyes widened as he hobbled quickly in front of her. He waved his arms erratically. "Noo!!! How dare you insult milord with such a question! You should be asha---"  
  
  
Sesshoumaru silenced the hideous youkai with a raise of his hand. "No, Jaken. I suppose it would've come up at some point anyway." He shifted.  
  
  
Rin clapped her hands happily. "Yay! Rin gets a story!"  
  
  
Sesshoumaru nodded. "It all started one night when my father was very lonely...."  
  
  
[------Flashback------]  
  
  
A seductive female voice came forth from the darkness toward Sesshoumaru's father. "Hey, big boy. Lookin' for a good time?"  
  
  
The male demon's eyebrow raised in excitement. "Oh yeah, babeh..." he said invitingly.  
  
  
The womanly youkai stepped out into the darkness. Her hair was starched up with hair spray, and bright blue eyeshadow decorated her eyelids. She had on knee-high fishnet stockings and an impossibly short skirt, as well as a bra-looking thing which exposed her bloated gut.  
  
  
Sesshoumaru's father cringed and recoiled. "Oh my...Ugh..." He then looked down to his crotch, shrugged, and then looked back up to the woman in contemplation. He nodded. "Yep. I'm horny enough."   
  
  
And the two walked off into a secluded cave, a strong, hairy arm guiding the amorous male youkai.  
  
  
[------End of Flashback------]  
  
  
Jaken blinked. "M-milord...?"  
  
  
Sesshoumaru looked to the repulsive green creature. "Yes, Jaken?"  
  
  
"Your mother was a prostitute?" The toadly thing was simply horrified, and a little turned on, by the description.  
  
  
The dog youkai sighed and nodded. "Indeed, I'm afraid she was. I am ashamed."  
  
  
Rin grinned and scooted next to Sesshoumaru. "Fluffy should not be ashamed. Rin still loves Fluffy the same." (In a father/daughter sense, you weirdos!)  
  
  
Sesshoumaru flashed her a rare smile. "Arigato, Rin."  
  
  
Rin smiled even bigger. The three sat there in a quite comfortable silence for a while. Rin then looked to Sesshoumaru inquistively.  
  
  
"Fluffy?"  
  
  
"Yes, Rin?"  
  
  
"What is 'prostitute'?"  
  
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A/N: TA DA!!!! ^_^; lol. I'm very weird, but at least that question was finally answered!!! YAY!!!! xD  
  
Ja, minna-san!  
  
Ko-ko  



	3. Her name is Rio & Kouga gets leg warmers

A/N: Since this series is such a HUGE success(and I use the term "HUGE" loosely), I decided, "Hell, I'll make this next one." Well, I hope you like this!  
  
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Kouga and his wolfy crew sat by the falls keeping watch over their territory. The men sat at their stations, and Kouga strode back and forth, stalking around trying to look sexy. His followers looked a little worry. Okay, they looked VERY worried.  
  
"Kouga, sir, " one spoke up, "what're you doin' if you don' mind my askin'?"  
  
Kouga tossed a "matter-of-fact" look to him. "Why, looking pretty, of course." He then walked off to go primp in a mirror.  
  
Another one of the men shifted uncomfortably. He looked to one of the other guards. "Uh, why is Kouga tryin' ta look pretty? Does that worry anyone else?"  
  
His comrade nodded furiously. "I'm pretty sure it has somethin' ta do with those leg warmers of his."  
  
"Yeah! What's up with those things anyway?" another chimed in.  
  
One smirked. "I'll give my next big catch to whoever asks him."  
  
Suddenly, Kouga strutted out of the darkness, holding his hand up to silence them. "There is no need for betting," he said. "I heard the whole thing."  
  
They looked frightened. "Kouga sir...I.."  
  
Kouga shook his head. "It is okay. I shall tell you."  
  
[------Flashback...To the 80's!------]  
  
A poofy-haired Kouga walked down the street. Hairspray held his fabulous hair up, and Duran Duran blared into his ears from the boombox he held.   
  
"Her name is Rio and she dances on the sand..." he sang to himself as he danced upon the sidewalk. "Just like that river twi--"  
  
Suddenly, a peppy girl doing high-kicks flipped over to him. "Hey, dude! You wanna look totally rad and pretty?!"  
  
Kouga nodded happily. "I really wanna look pretty!"  
  
The girl giggled and tossed a pair of leg warmers to him and cartwheeled away, "Sayonara, dude!"  
  
He looked down at them with eyes full of wonder. "Ooo! These are fabulous! I'm never takin' them off! EVER!"   
  
And with that, he put them on and skipped off into the horizon, humming "Rio".  
  
[------End of Flashback------]  
  
"And that is how I got my leg warmers." Kouga finished with a punctuating nod. He walked off once more.  
  
One of the guards looked to another. "That really didn't answer anything, did it?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
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A/N: Yay! Another sickeningly stupid chapter courtesy of me! Who else? *shrug* I dunno. R&R!   
  
Oh yes, I almost forgot! Yes, I'm aware Kouga would not have been alive in the 1980's, I just   
  
thought it'd be funny. u.u; Guess I was wrong. And another thing: I'm only 14...I didn't actually live in the 80's,  
  
So I may be inaccurate, but I don't care because it is just a funny story!!! ^_^; Aishiteru!  
  
Ja, minna-san!  
  
Ko-ko 


End file.
